The Stash

I read in a book once (jk, it was the Internet) that male facial hair served little to no evolutionary purposes, rather than to assist homosapians in distinguishing between sexes. Similarly, the primary function of the modern mustache is to assert that "I'm one Manley dude."

We haven't made it back to the 70's yet. But look around and you'll see them sprouting up on the chiseled faces of young men everywhere, and with good reason. The mustache is the paragon of masculinity; you don't have to be some sort of super genius or criminal mastermind to comprehend the unrivaled manpower forcefully trapped in the confines of the mustache. Current efforts to quantify the manliness levels present in the mustache place it extremely high, hovering in rank somewhere between hunting an actual human being on a remote island and captain falcon.


For a more comprehensive examination Webster-Online defines the Mustache as follows:

Mustache: The hair growing on the upper lip especially such hair grown and trimmed often in a particular style.
Etymology: The mustache is originally derived from the Greek mystak, meaning upper lip.
Usage: "Hey dude, sweet Stash" or "I want to touch your Mustache"



In reality, the typical mustache is achieved only through arduous daily trainings and sheer force of will alone. It is tough work, but my initial results show promise. Sure enough dear readers I will bring you along with me on this trip. I've been trying, but still have a ways to go. Over the forthcoming months I will be doubling the frequency of my training and mustache related rituals. Utilizing the preservative power of the Internet I will record historical milestones in the cultivation of my mustache.

With hard work and perseverance I aspire to level up my mustache from approximately here

to the rank of grand master, right about here.

Wish me luck.

For those who are interested. Additional Mustache related information and resources can be found at The American Mustache Institute and at Wikipedia.